Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)

Fortunately, we didn’t have to spend any money on this viewing and we got free popcorn. Sadly, even though we had those benefits, it still wasn’t worth it.

So tired of old Jurassic tropes. Let’s see, we have a guy speeding off in a vehicle with a suitcase full of DNA material. Oops, that was done in the first one…modified Barbasol can being scurried off in a vehicle. Meh.

How about kids trapped in a mini-mart with dangerous dino walking up and down the aisles, kid hides behind a reflective door. Oops, remember the first movie with the kids stuck in the kitchen, dangerous dino walking up and down aisles and that reflective door. Oh, the first one had a dino toe tap on the floor that added tension. This one had the dino step on a Gatorade bottle instead of the toe tapping. Shrug.

Also, the CGI was severely lacking in this film. This is readily apparent, especially as our crew of folks stands on the edge of a cliff and the camera pans over and down. Ugly.

There is also another effect where I believe CGI is having a poor effect and that is the lack of tension or excitement. During a moment early in the film there is a boat chase with an underwater dinosaur. I sat there watching. Wishing for some sort of suspense and I didn’t have any. So, either the direction was lacking or my mind sees that this isn’t real and doesn’t care. Snooze.

Another aspect of this film was the guesswork factor. It was fairly easy to tell which character was going to perish next. It was so transparent it was baffling that the filmmaker didn’t even seem to care. Next.

THINGS THAT COULD HAVE HELPED!!!!

Early on there is an exciting scene where a character is swept off the boat during a dangerous chase and a young man, who we think is a jerk and lazy-ass, jumps in to save without thinking twice. This shows us a hidden positive character trait. He also gets a pep talk during the movie which also seems to foreshadow something great in his future. It all comes to naught. He gets forgotten. If he would have been the one at the end that was willing to risk it all for the others it would have gotten a real emotional reaction from the audience.

If instead of the scary dinosaur in a closed space threatening the humans, what if we changed it up? I mean what if the humans have the dino trapped and are getting the upper hand? What if they do the toe tapping? What if they mistake the reflective mirror? Not saying this would save the movie but it would have reversed the trope.

Speaking of tropes. How tiring is the sub-plot of corporate greed and that the people that work for them will do anything, including sacrificing/killing all the people without consequence to get the secret ingredient that will… save people. Gotta kill’em to save’em I suppose? I get it. It’s all about the money and greed but if you have no regard for people and you kill the people, how are you getting the money? Dead people don’t pay for stuff. Wouldn’t it be more interesting for a corporate money grabber to have a change of heart and do something positive for the people? And then if he happens to get offed, we actually care.

FINALLY

Just a few more things that bugged me.

What was up with the beginning of the film? The research facility decimated by a candy bar wrapper? Why the focus on a mutant dinosaur in the giant glass test tube that does not seem relevant to the story we are told?

Also, did we need to read some text on screens that the characters would actually tell us in their conversation soon after? How about a dinosaur dying in the middle of the city with little to no explanation? And SJohansson just magically showing up in a dude’s car? And she is just so tough and strong, and confident. Then they just leave the vehicle? Weird.

Here’s another, the money grabbing mercenaries grifting and grabbing at money from the money grabbing corporate guy. Who are we supposed to be rooting for here? Oh, yeah, remember that young lazy-ass kid? Nope? The movie-makers forgot him too. Oh well, I tried.

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